Fathers Day
by JaimeBlue
Summary: Jett's in love with Cupid? Auto's in love with Salmoneus? Gabrielle's in love with Hercules? And Joxer's got wings? Well, it all started with a proclamation...
1. Disclaimer

**Disclaimer:**   
  


The following story features mostly characters that I have not created, with the rare exception. It was written with all due love and respect to the television series about which it was written. I consider this story, and the many others like it, a tribute to a show and characters I have come to appreciate. I make no money from these stories.   
  


The story idea and any original characters are all children of my own imagination.   
  


This story was written by myself, JaimeBlue. 


	2. Default Chapter

### Fathers Day

The entire Greek Pantheon was assembled in the great hall. Zeus and Hera, the King and Queen of the Gods, were seated on the dais, waiting for the rest of the family to take their seats. Hera looked glorious, dressed in all her splendour. Zeus, however, simply sat looking rather sheepish. 

Once all were seated, Hera spoke. "For many ages, we Gods have been consorting with mortals, oftentimes resulting in the births of demi-Gods. Our activities in this domain, however, seems to have increased significantly in the last few decades. Not all of these children have been given special abilities with their godly heritage, and not all of them have been identified and claimed by their godly parents. As Queen of the Gods, I now demand that all Gods identify and claim their earthly progeny so that they may all receive the protection of Olympus, a gift that until now has only been given to certain bastard children of my husband." 

The entire crowd erupted in discussion. The Goddesses laughed, knowing that any children they produced with human blood were raised on Olympus. The Gods, however, began looking as sheepish as Zeus. The only God who wasn't worrying was Hephaestus, for obvious reasons. 

The queen continued. "I demand that each of you deliver to me by tomorrow morning a list specifying which children you have produced, which you suspect of being your progeny, and which of them all have not yet been claimed. Any individuals about whom there may be doubt will be thoroughly and immediately investigated." With a glare at Zeus, Hera popped back to her home on Olympus, and Zeus followed only moments later. 

Within days, Hera had assembled a number of Goddesses to look over the lists that had been submitted by each of the Gods of Olympus. They settled into the tearoom at Hera's temple as their Hostess spread out drinks and snacks for the ladies. After several minutes of idyll gossip, Hera stood and addressed the assembled Goddesses. 

"I would like to thank you all for coming, and for volunteering to help me with the task at hand. It has the potential to be a very tedious task, but I hope the results will be entertaining to say the least. Now," she waved her hand and a table appeared in the center of the room, piled high with scrolls, "here are the lists that have been submitted. Aphrodite, you will take Ares and Cupid." 

"Ooh, that should be fu" The word froze in her throat when Hera passed her almost half of the pile of scrolls. 

"Now now, dear. It is after all your son and your former lover." 

"Oh! This is like, so not cool." 

"Discord, you can take Strife, Deimos, and Bacchus." 

"Hmmm, I wonder what my boy's been up to now?" 

"Artemis, you take Apollo and Asclepius. 

The Goddess simply nodded as she was handed the scrolls. 

"Persephone, you take Hades and Hermes." 

"Hades has a list!!! Ooh, just wait until his next visit!" 

"And I will take Lachrymose, and of course, Zeus. Now ladies, let's see what we can find out." 

There was no semblance of silence as Aphrodite continuously grumbled about how busy her son and Ares had been (as well as her shock at how, in many places, the lists coincided) and as Persephone let out shocked gasps at each of the possible children of her husband. Hera looked down at her own lists and decided to begin with Lachrymose. The list was unsurprisingly short, for the God of Despair rarely had cause to rejoice, even in the presence of a lovely man or woman. Next, she steeled herself to look over the list Zeus had submitted. Just as she was about to begin, she heard a gasp of surprise from Persephone. 

"I just knew it!" 

"What is it, dear?" 

"Do you remember that thief who's a friend of Hercules and Xena?" They all nodded. "Well, here he is, topping Hermes' list. I knew the King of Thieves had to be related to him." 

Smiling, the Goddesses returned to their lists. Hera finally began Zeus' extremely long list (though, thankfully it wasn't as long as either Ares or Cupid). As she passed every name, she mentally crossed it off as one she knew. By the time she was finished, she was surprised to find that there were only three individuals of which she was not only unaware, but that she'd never even heard of, and which had not yet been claimed by Zeus. Looking up, she noticed all but Aphrodite had finished and were discussing their discoveries. 

"Ladies, have any of you heard of these three?" Hera passed the scroll with the three names to Persephone, who was at her left. Taking the scroll, Persephone immediately began giggling. 

"Let me see that!" Discord reached over and took the scroll from Persephone's hand. "No! I could see them on Strife's list, but not Zeus'." She immediately lost herself in giggles just as Persephone had done. 

Artemis grabbed the scroll before it could fall to the floor. Looking at the names, she gasped in surprise. "Oh my! One of them is well known to me. He follows one of my Queens around." She immediately began giggling with the others. 

Aphrodite looked up from her lists and immediately began feeling left out. She reached out and plucked the scroll from Artemis' grasp. "All right, let's see what's so funny." She unrolled it and immediately screeched. "Studmuffin!" That stopped the surrounding giggles. 

"Will somebody tell me who these men are?" Hera was also feeling left out, and very impatient. 

Aphrodite looked up and her gaze met Hera's. "They're three brothers, triplets. The eldest, Jace, he's one of my followers. Next there's Jett. He's known as the King of Assassins and I think he's one of Strife's worshippers. And the last one's one of my favourite mortals. Joxie's just such a sweetie, but his worship wavers between Ares and that little blonde that follows Xena around. It's too bad, too. From the prayers I've received from certain taverns across Greece, he'd do so well in my service." 

"I still don't understand what has the lot of you giggling like children." 

"Well, even though Joxie's such a sweetie, he's kind of a klutz. He tries to be a warrior, but he's more likely to fall on his own sword than kill another person." 

"Ah." Hera rose from her seat and headed towards the door. Just before she reached the handle, she turned to speak to the assembled Goddesses. "I think it's time to teach Zeus a lesson about how to care for one's children."   
  


* * *   
  


"Oh Zeus." Zeus could feel the hair on every part of his body stand on end. The only thing that scared him worse than his wife's angry voice was that singsong voice of hers. Something had made her happy, and he knew he'd be paying for it. 

"Yes dearest?" 

"Some of the Goddesses and I have just finished looking over some of those little lists, and I just found out I have three step-sons." 

Zeus groaned. Ever since his dalliance with Jorinda had produced three sons, he'd spent each day in fear that his secret would be found out. But Hera couldn't ignore the only three children of his with no powers, now could she. 

"Ah, did I forget to tell you about them, dearest?" 

"Yes, my husband. It has made me curious that they are the only ones you have not claimed before the Pantheon." 

"Well, they're the only ones with no powers. I didn't think anyone needed to know about three little mortal offspring." 

"Oh, but Zeus, they are certainly not below our notice. In fact, Aphrodite seemed quite fond of one of them." Zeus groaned. "As a matter of fact, Zeus, I think it's time you tell them about their heritage." 

"But dearest, I don't think they need to know. Let's just let them live out their lives in peace and die with dignity." 

Hera smiled in victory. Zeus obviously didn't want to openly admit they were his sons, which was enough reason to like them. She reached out and patted the God's knee. "Now, now. We must welcome them to the family with open arms. Let's go tell them." 

"But dearest" 

"Now!" 

Zeus hung his head and stood up from his favourite chair. "Whatever you say dear." 

"Now, Zeus, tell me where they are." 

"Jett's in Thrace, Jace is in Melodia, and sigh Joxer's in Corinth, with Hercules." Zeus desperately hoped that the thought of his favourite son would deter his Queen from seeking out the youngest triplet. 

"Perfect. Let's start out in Thrace and go from there." Hera beamed. She would get the chance to see Hercules' face when he was told he had an incompetent warrior (or at least that's what she had gained from Dite's description) for a brother.   
  


* * *   
  


The campfire glowed as it was stoked. The weary travelers that huddled around its warmth were talking and laughing about their latest adventures. 

"So then, he serves his stew to the entire army, and they're all down for the count!" 

"No! I didn't think he was that bad a cook." 

"I'm not! It was just one bad batch or radishes. And the swamp water may have had something to do with it." The others laughed. "Hey, at least I wasn't drooling and complaining of foot rot." 

"All right, all right." The words of the Warrior Princess calmed the laughing travelers. "It wasn't a good day for any of us. Hercules, why don't you tell us about that widow you're always mumbling about." 

"Oh, yeah. The Widow Twanky." He chuckled at the mere thought of the woman. "You know, I swear she must be related to Iolaus. They look so alike. I'd even think she might be him in drag, except her legs are too nice." 

"Hey," Iolaus cried, indignant. "I have nice legs." 

"Oh," the blonde bard commented from across the fire, "so why don't you show us. It would give me something interesting to write in my scrolls." 

"Ha ha ha, dream on Gabby." 

All but Joxer laughed. "Hey, what's wrong with Gabby. I think it's a nice nickname." 

The others only continued to laugh so hard, they almost didn't notice the flash of light that announced the arrival of two Olympian Gods. Hercules was the first to stop once he realized which God was standing before him, looking strangely like a berated child. 

"Father, what are you doing here?" 

"Hera has asked that I speak to one of you." 

At that moment, they realized the Goddess standing next to Zeus was in fact the Queen of the Gods, and everyone stood up with their weapons, ready to defend themselves should it be necessary. All that is but Joxer, who seemed to be having difficulty taking his sword out of his scabbard. 

The Goddess began laughing and walked towards the wanna-be warrior. "Here, child. Let me help you." To everyone's shock, Hera placed her hand on Joxer's and helped him guide his sword out of its hiding place. 

"Umm, thank you" 

"Please. You can call me Mother." 

"Mother?" The heroes' shocked voices rang out in unison. 

Well of course. What else would he call his step-mother." 

Joxer, strangely enough, seemed to be the only one not frozen in shock. He was used to people playing jokes on him. He laughed as he spoke. "Yeah, my step-mother. And I guess that means Zeus is my father. Oh, and I'd better start calling Hercules and Ares my brothers now" The laughter in his voice died at the look on Zeus' face. "Umm, okay. We've all had our fun now. Ha ha." There was no response. "Hera? Zeus?" 

Zeus stepped towards the young man. "Jorinda was one of my lovers, and you and your brothers are all my sons." 

Joxer was about to speak when he heard a crashing sound. He turned and saw the now unconscious form of Gabrielle sprawled on the ground, with Xena shaking off her shock to go to the bard's side and try to slap her awake. He felt an arm slip through his and turned to see Hera smiling at him. She looked so friendly, he couldn't help but smile back. 

"Come on," Hercules shouted as he was finally capable of speech. "This has got to be some kind of joke. Just look at Hera. She never wants to do anything but kill any of Zeus' other children." 

Joxer felt a moment of panic, but it subsided as the Goddess patted his arm comfortingly. "Hercules," she began, "did you know that Zeus didn't want to admit that Joxer here and his brothers were his? He has as much affection for them as he does Ares and Hephaestus." 

"So you're being nice to him to spite Zeus? How typical." He rolled his eyes, but was shocked at the outraged tone in the Goddess' next words. 

"Even I am not that petty, Hercules. However, I do understand what it is like not to be wanted." She smiled once again at Joxer and began pulling him off to one side. "Now, you can talk to your brother later, Hercules. It's time he were introduced to his brothers and sisters. Furthermore, I have every intention of adopting him and his brothers as my own children, thereby making them full Gods." 

Every jaw, including Zeus', dropped at that pronouncement. 

"Come Joxer. Let's go to Olympus." 

With a bright flash, the two disappeared.   
  


* * *   
  


Joxer felt a hand hold him up as bright spots clouded his vision, making him nauseous. After a few moments, that passed and he was able to look around him. It was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. The ground seemed to be made up of clouds, and everywhere he looked there were big, bright temples. 

"I guess it is a little impressive. You'll eventually get used to it, though." 

"I don't think I'll ever get used to this." 

Hera smiled as she patted Joxer's arm. "Come. Let's sit and talk in my temple. There is so little I know about you" 

Joxer was getting more and more confused by the moment. Hercules had told them so many stories about how evil Hera was, yet the Goddess that was leading him to an immense marble temple did not fit his descriptions. In fact, she was being nicer to him than most of the people he'd ever met, and that included some of his friends. 

Joxer was shocked once again when they entered the temple. On the outside, it had appeared clean and cold. The inside, however, was warm and inviting. It felt like someone's home. 

"You like?" He nodded. "From now on, my home is yours, young Joxer. Sit, relax." 

He sat on the offered seat on the low divan as the Goddess retreated to a back room. She came back moments later with a tray of tea and cakes which she set before Joxer. 

"Please, dear, help yourself." 

"Thank you." He picked up a small cake, admiring how good it looked. It, like the others, was made of dark chocolate with white icing. To top it off was a little red jelly decoration. He unsuccessfully tried eating the cake without making a mess of himself, and Hera just smiled at the effort. She took a seat next to him on the divan. 

"How are you feeling? You've had quite a shock today." 

Joxer reached up and wiped away a few crumbs from his mouth. "Yes ma'am. Part of me still thinks I'm going to wake up any moment now." 

Hera smiled and let out a tiny giggle. "Joxer, if you are to be part of my family, I wish to know all there is to know about you. With your permission, I would like to connect with your memories." 

Joxer took a moment to think. Did he really want to share his memories with her? What if she decided he wasn't worthy of her attention once she knew just what kind of life he'd led? Then he remembered, she was a Goddess. If she really wanted to know about him, she would do it with or without his knowledge. She was asking him for his sake alone. He smiled and looked into her kind face. "Yes." 

She didn't hesitate, but slowly reached out a hand to touch his temple. As skin touched skin, they were both overwhelmed with many years worth of memories. She saw all he had seen, and he knew what she now saw. Joxer wasn't aware of the moment his memories began repeating themselves, but he was shocked out of his remembrance when Hera broke contact with his temple. He suddenly felt drained and slumped against the divan. 

"Thank you, Joxer, for such a precious gift. Now why don't you lay here and get some rest." She reached out a hand to smooth over the man's hair and then patted his cheek. As his eyelids began drooping, she rose and stepped out of the room. 

What Hera had seen shocked her. The family the triplets had been born into was far more dysfunctional than any she'd ever seen, and that included her own. The man they had believed was their father had been violent and cruel. Their mother was too scared of her husband to do anything against his wishes. Through Joxer's eyes, she'd seen how each of the boys had coped with their family lives. Jett had become hard, obeying his father without question. Jace had rebelled and left home as soon as possible. Joxer, however, had suffered the worst. He'd become a whipping boy for both his father and his brother Jett, and the beatings had only gotten worse once Jace had left. 

Hera was amazed that the young man had been able to keep his optimism and innocence after such a life. How did he do it? Her own boys, Ares and Hephaestus, had once been like Joxer, yet that had been destroyed in the feud between she and Zeus. She honestly regretted what their feud had done to her boys, yet there was nothing that could change what had happened. The damage was done. 

She made two vows to herself: that no one would ever hurt Joxer again, and that his family would pay for what they'd done to him.   
  


* * *   
  


As Hera was introducing Joxer to Olympus, Zeus was facing the music. 

"What the hell was all that about?" 

All right. So Hercules was taking the situation much harder than he'd thought. 

"As you heard, Joxer, Jett, and Jace are all my sons." 

"But how is that possible?" 

"Well, Hercules, I'd have thought you'd have figured that out by now." 

"That's not what I mean! None of them have any kind of powers, or anything that would give any sign of them being half God." 

"Not all demi-Gods have powers, Hercules, although the three are the only children of mine without any." 

"That should have been your first clue that they aren't yours." 

"I wish. I investigated, and they are in fact of my blood." 

Xena walked over, confused about Hercules' reaction. "Why is it so hard to believe? We all know the Gods will sleep with just about anything that moves." 

"Hey! I resent that." 

"Oh, can it Grandpa!" 

Zeus just grimaced and crossed his arms over his chest. 

"Now, what's so bad about them?" 

"Well," Zeus answered, "Jett's not so bad. In fact he reminds a lot of Ares. And Jace, he does have a certain grace and flair for life." 

"And Joxer" 

Zeus groaned, and Xena gave him 'the look'. 

"Joxer is one of the most loyal and trustworthy men I know." 

"Yeah," Hercules interrupted, "but that's not enough to make him an Olympian." 

Xena couldn't believe what she was hearing. "If every God on Olympus were a little more like Joxer, this would definitely be a nicer place to live." 

"You tell him, Sister!" Aphrodite appeared in a flash of sparkles and rose petals. "Herc, I'm soooo disappointed in you." 

Iolaus, who had been watching the exchange from his place at the unconscious Gabrielle's side, turned at the sound of a low moan. 

"What happened?" 

"First we found out Joxer is Zeus' son, then Hera took him to Olympus. Now, Herc's throwing a bit of a tantrum about Joxer being his brother and all and Xena's calling him on it. Aphrodite just showed up to back her up." 

"Oh." Gabrielle's eyes glazed over again. "If you need me, I'll be laying right here." 

Iolaus chuckled as she fainted again, then turned his attention back to the collection of Gods and demi-Gods before him. 

"You're a fine one to talk, Dite." 

"Hey! I'm actually happy to have Joxie as part of the family. I know I've done some pretty weird things to him in the past, but I've always loved the big dufus. It's about time we have someone like him in the family. Where's Hera, anyway?" She turned to look at her father. "I thought she was with you?" 

"She took Joxer to Olympus. Wait a minute, I thought you and Hera still hated each other?" 

"We're mature Goddesses. We can put little things like that behind us. And anyway, she seemed to like the idea of having Joxie in the family so much" 

Zeus groaned once again. "They're all against me." 

"Hey, if you didn't want the risk of any kids, you shouldn't sleep around. We all know that. I may not have had the best relationship with Hera, but even I know she never deserved to be dissed the way you diss her." She turned to the others. "Anyway, I'd better go see how my little studmuffin's doing. I'll see you guys later. Bye!" She disappeared in the same flash of light as she had appeared. 

Zeus rose to his full height and faced his son. "I must go back to Olympus as well. You can deal with this on your own. Goodbye!" 

There were only the four of them left around the campfire. Hercules made his way over to his bedroll to sulk. 

"Hercules, you know as I do he's a good person." 

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want him as a brother." 

"And how do you think I feel! All of a sudden one of my closest friends is my uncle. But I can get over it. He's been a good friend, and I won't let go of that. Maybe your mind will clear in the morning. Good night." 

Xena, Hercules, and Iolaus said their goodnights to each other and turned in for the night. Once they'd all passed into Morpheus' realm, another voice pierced the silence. 

"How come everyone's asleep? Xena? Hercules? Iolaus? Humph! And they say I have trouble waking up in the morning."   
  


* * *   
  


Aphrodite appeared in Hera's temple and was surprised that the Goddess wasn't around. She did however see Joxer asleep on the divan. She quietly walked over and placed a kiss on his forehead. 

"You rest up, little bro. You've had a long day." 

"That he has." 

Aphrodite turned at the quiet voice behind her and was relieved to see it was only Hera. 

"How's he doing?" 

"He's still adjusting, and when he wakes up he'll have something else to adjust to." At Aphrodite's confused look, Hera continued. "He ate one of my special cakes." She motioned to the uneaten cakes that remained on a table near the divan, and Aphrodite understood. Hera always made her cakes topped with little ambrosia decorations. 

"Can we talk a moment?" 

Hera nodded and led Aphrodite into another room where they wouldn't disturb Joxer. 

"Hera, I know we haven't always gotten on, and there's something I need to know. Why are you being so nice to Joxie? It's so, like, not you." 

Hera sighed and looked her step-daughter in the eyes. "At first, you may have been right to be suspicious of me. Zeus' apparent distaste for the triplets, particularly Joxer, was a tempting weapon. However, the more I thought about it I realized I empathized with them too much. Here, let me show you what I've seen." 

Hera reached out to touch Aphrodite's face and the Goddess was bombarded with Joxer's memories. When Hera finally released her, she reached up a hand to wipe a tear. 

"That was just so nasty. Oh, my poor Joxie." 

Hera nodded. "So how about a truce between us, Aphrodite?" 

The Queen of the Gods held out her hand, which the Love Goddess took. 

"Good. Now that that's settled, how would you like to help me get a little revenge?" 

Dite's grin stretched a mile wide. "Ooh, yeah. And I bet Cupie and Strife would love to get in on it." 

"I can understand Cupid, but why Strife?" 

"Oh, Strife's always loved Joxie. He's a natural trouble-maker without even trying." 

The two Goddesses disappeared to find the young Gods. At that very same moment, another flash of light signalled the arrival of yet another God in the temple. The figure walked over to the divan to watch over the sleeping ex-mortal. He could see that the man had eaten ambrosia, for it was already changing him. He brushed a stray lock of hair off Joxer's forehead, then sat in a chair next to the divan. 

"What is it about you, Joxer? Aphrodite's so protective of you; Hera's taken to you like a fish to water. You inspire such strong emotions in people, and even stranger alliances. What do they see that I never saw? Why should they think you worthy of being a God when I didn't think you even worthy of being my son?" 

Zeus sighed. 

"Oh, well. I guess I'll have plenty of time to find out, now won't I. Sweet dreams, my child."   
  


* * *   
  


"WHAT?!" 

Xena and Hercules jumped out of their bedrolls at full alert. Iolaus looked at the source of the scream and immediately fell at ease. 

"I was afraid of this." 

"Iolaus," Hercules said, "what were you afraid of?" 

"Gabrielle. She's been either unconscious or catatonic ever since Zeus' visit. I think it finally hit her." 

He walked over to the bard and knelt at her side. 

"Now, Gabrielle" 

"Don't Gabrielle me! Oh my Gods" 

"Okay, calm down." 

"Calm down? You want me to calm down? My friend of how many years is a demi-God! After all the times I laughed at him, hit him with my staff, pulled on his nose -- I'm in such deep shit." 

Iolaus stifled a laugh. "I don't think so. Remember, this is Joxer we're talking about. He's always forgiven you thus far." 

"Yeah, but now he can sic his family on me." 

This time, Iolaus couldn't hold back the laughter. He heard Xena giggling behind him. Turning around, he saw that even Hercules was smirking. 

Xena turned to her former lover. "So, how do you feel about everything this morning?" 

"You were right. I just don't know what was the bigger shock: finding out Joxer's my brother, or seeing Hera be so nice to him." 

"I know what you mean, but he does have that kind of effect on people. You either love him, hate him, or love to hate him." 

"So, what do we do now?" 

"There's nothing we can do except what we always do." 

Gabrielle picked herself up off the ground. "Oh, you mean 'righting wrongs'?" 

"And singing songs," Xena finished. 

They began packing their belongings. Once finished, they said their goodbyes and split up as they usually did. They parted full of thoughts of their friend on Olympus, and hoping they saw him again soon.   
  


* * *   
  


Joxer awoke to the sounds of shouting in the room. He grabbed a cushion and held it against his head, trying to muffle the sounds with little success. Finally he turned around to watch the scene. 

"I'm tellin ya, I knew it all along." 

"Hmph. You don't know anything that isn't at the point of your little knife." 

"Little? This is one of the best blades in Greece. No wonder Dad couldn't stand you." 

"Hah! You very well know now he isn't our Dad." 

"Well, I'm sure Zeus'll think you're as useless as Dad thought you were. No wonder he didn't want to admit we were his, with you and Joxer" 

"Hold on a minute there! It's bad enough you're insulting me, but don't insult our little brother while he's asleep and can't defend himself." 

"Oh, like he could defend himself while he was awake." 

The two men finally stopped fighting when Joxer moaned out loud. 

"Joxer, you're finally awake." The man came to sit next to him on the divan. 

"Hi Jace. How'd you get here?" 

"Hera brought us here, of course. Though I still think she should have left someone behind to rot in jail." 

"Will you shut your mouth before I shut it for you?" Jett turned to Joxer. "Get up. Gods, you can be so lazy at times." 

Joxer slowly swung his legs over the side of the divan and looked at the nearby table. The little cakes Hera had given him were gone. Too bad, he thought. I'm feeling a little hungry. 

"How long have you guys been here?" 

"Long enough to watch you sleep the day away." 

"Oh, will you shut up Jett!" Jett and Jace simply stared at each other, neither one willing to look away or show any sign of weakness. With two of the triplets distracted, Joxer was the only one who noticed the flash of light signaling the appearance of yet another God. 

"Oh, no." The God was the last one Joxer had hoped to see this day, or any day for that matter. 

"Hiya Jox! How's it hangin? I was, like, sooo shocked when Mom told me how nice Grandma was actin." 

"Hello, Cupid." 

"Oh, Jox, you're still not sore about those little incidents, eh?" 

"Well" 

"Come on, can't you see it in your heart to forgive your nephew?" 

"Nephew?" 

"Yeah, you're my Mom and Dad's bro, which makes you my Uncle." 

"Oh, Uncle. Hmm." Joxer liked the sound of that. 

"While we're on the subject of Uncles, what's with those two?" 

"Oh, they're just having a little battle of wills. They're both just so stubborn." 

"Kinda like Mom and Dad. Trust me, you don't want to see them have a fight. Mom may seem like a ditz, but you can't forget she's one of the most powerful Goddesses on Olympus." 

Joxer nodded. "So, what brings you here?" 

"Grandma asked me to check up on the three of you and show you around." 

"And where is she?" 

Cupid blushed to the ends of his feathers. "You know, if we don't do something now, those two will freeze like that." 

"Where is she?" 

"You know, I can almost see the ice forming now" 

Joxer crossed his arms across his chest and put on his best stern look. "Nephew, tell me where she is." I can get used to this, he thought. 

"Man, you know, you're pretty good at this uncle stuff." Joxer tried to keep the smile from his face, but was unsuccessful. "All right. Grandma and Mom are out talkin to Strife." 

"Why?" 

"Nothing, really. Just a little revenge. Nothing to concern you with." 

"Then why didn't you want to tell me?" 

"No reason." 

"Cupid?" 

"All right. Geez, twist my arm why don't ya. They're kinda pissed with that mortal Dad of yours, cuz he was so mean to ya." 

Joxer's jaw dropped. He felt rather than saw his brothers step up on either side of him, apparently having gotten over their little battle for dominance over the other. 

"We can't let them do anything to him." 

"Why not? He was an ass." 

"Yeah, but to us he was our Dad." 

"Ok. Then why don't you do something about it?" 

"We can't. We're just demi-Gods. We have no powers." 

"Well, they can't do anything, but you can." 

"What?" 

Cupid looked at Joxer, then at his brothers on each side of him. "You mean, you don't know?" 

"Know what?" 

"What exactly happened with you and Grandma?" 

"She brought me up here, fed me some cakes, then read my memories. What of it?" 

"Ah! That explains it. I guess she forgot to tell you she makes her cakes with ambrosia toppings, eh?" 

It took a few moments for the information to register in Joxer's brain. "Ambrosia? D-does that mean that I-I-I'm" 

"Oh, this is so wonderful!" Jace hugged Joxer from one side. "My little brother's a God!" 

Jett just looked on in disgust. "Why him? Why not us, or me?" 

Cupid looked Jett up and down incredulously. "Maybe because he isn't a bloodthirsty psychopath, for one." 

"I'm a God." 

"I know little brother, isn't it wonderful?" Jace moved over to give Cupid a hug, which the God gladly returned. "Ooh, your feathers are sooo soft." Cupid blushed again and let go of the man. 

"I'm a God." 

"I know! We heard you the first time." Jett looked ready to find out whether or not Gods could feel pain. 

"Oh, and Jox, I wouldn't worry about Mom and Grandma. They may be a little pissed, but they wouldn't do anything too bad." Joxer simply nodded. "I've got an idea, why don't we do as Grandma suggested and go for a little tour of Olympus?" When each of the triplets either nodded or shrugged their shoulders in acknowledgement, Cupid led them out of the temple. 

They walked around for a couple of hours as Cupid showed them temple after temple, telling them who lived where and what they'd been up to lately with whom. They were shown the main Olympian gardens, as well as many of the other sights. Finally, Cupid had them stop a distance from the temples. 

"This is my favourite place to watch mortals. I can even shoot my arrows from here." 

"Can I see?" Joxer looked at him with wide eyes. 

"No prob, really, you just look over the edge here." 

"That's not what I meant. I meant, could I see you arrows?" 

"Here." Cupid removed his quiver and bow and passed them to Joxer. He smiled as he saw the newest God handle them as if they would break under the slightest pressure. 

"What?!" 

Cupid looked over to see Jett staring at a scene below. "Oh, them. Yeah, they're one of my best matches yet." 

"That match cost me a job!" 

"Oh, get over it. They're in love." 

Unfortunately, Cupid apparently didn't know Jett very well, or else he would have known that of all things, Jett hated being told "get over it" more than anything else. He attacked Cupid, wrapping his fingers around the God's throat. Cupid didn't know how to fight back without hurting the demi-God. 

Joxer and Jace watched helplessly. "Jox, why don't you do something?" 

"Like what?" In his confusion, Joxer looked down at the bow and arrows in his hands. "Hmm." 

He held the bow in his hand and randomly selected an arrow from the quiver. He aimed at the ground beneath Jett and Cupid. Unfortunately, he was as good with a bow and arrow as he was with a sword, and the arrow hit both Cupid and Jett, sending them flying over the edge. 

"Oops." 

Joxer kneeled over to the edge of the ground he was on to see what happened to Cupid and Jett. He couldn't see anything and stood to face his other brother. 

"Umm, I guess I goofed up again." 

"You're tellin me. Now what are you going to do about it." 

"I don't know." Joxer looked lost and on the verge of tears for a few moments until he did the only thing he could think of doing. He looked up at the sky and shouted. "Mother!" 

Within moments, Hera appeared. "Yes, child, what is it?" 

Joxer looked at Jace, who motioned to him as if saying 'go ahead, tell her'. "Well, you see, there was this accident." 

"Accident?" 

"Yeah. Cupid was taking us for a tour of Olympus" 

"Where is the little winged brat anyway?" 

"Well, that's where the accident comes in." Hera raised an eyebrow and waited for the explanation. "You see, Jett was watching some of the mortals down below and I guess he saw a couple he didn't like very much. Cupid mentioned something about getting them together, Jett said something about them ruining one of his jobs, then he attacked Cupid. I didn't know what to do so I took the bow and arrow, and we all know how bad I am with these things, and I accidentally shot them." 

Hera spent a few moments absorbing the information and trying to keep a straight face. "Where did they fall?" Joxer pointed and she approached the edge. Using her Godly senses, she found the two men and discovered what spell was used in the arrow. She couldn't hold back any longer and burst out in laughter. 

Joxer and Jace looked at each other thinking that if Hera was laughing, then their brother and Cupid couldn't have been too damaged. 

"Umm, Mother, they're okay, right?" 

Hera paused a moment, then broke out laughing again. After several moments, she finally stopped long enough to speak to the boys. "Well, you hit them with a very powerful love spell. It should last a week, but then they'll be fine." 

"You can't take it off?" 

"No, that's why it's temporary." 

"What are they doing down there?" 

Hera stifled another laugh. "I don't think I need to tell you what two young, virile men do when they think they're in love." 

It took a few seconds for Joxer to understand, but when he did his face flushed red. 

Jace began giggling. "It's about time he learns how the other half lives." 

Hera smiled at the boys, then noticed the bow and quiver in Joxer's hands. "Joxer, are those Cupid's?" He nodded. A panicked look came across her face and she turned her senses back on the God and demi-God below. No, make that demi-God and mortal below. "Oh no!" 

"What? What is it? What's wrong?" 

"Well, it appears that, since you had possession of Cupid's symbols of power at the time he was hit, he has been made mortal by the spell. So, my dear child, it appears that for the next week, you are the God of Love." 

"Oh boy." 

Hera waved her hand and she, Joxer, and Jace appeared in a temple. 

"Aphrodite?" 

The Goddess appeared in a flourish of pink before them. "Hey Hera. Everything's going as planned. Oh, hiya Joxie! Oh, and look who else is here! Jacie! How're ya doin, snugglebuns?" 

"There isn't much time for that, child. We have a bit of a situation." 

"What kind of situation?" 

"To make a long story short, your son is mortal, on earth, with Jett, and Joxer is now the God of Love." 

"Huh?" She looked at Joxer who was still carrying Cupid's bow, then she sighed. "All right. First, we make sure Cupie's protected. I don't want anything happening to my baby while he's down there." 

"I wouldn't worry, Aphrodite," Joxer said. "He's with Jett. My brother doesn't let anything happen to those he cares about." 

Jace nudged his brother. "Yeah, unless it's Jett that's doing something to Cupid." 

"Shh. For all we know, Cupid may like it rough." 

The brothers turned their attention back to the Goddesses. 

"Next," Dite continued, "we've got to find Cupie's list. It's got all the matches he's supposed to make. That will make your," she pointed to Joxer, "job easier. Hmm, it's got to be around here somewhere." 

She began looking on and under tables and chairs in the room. Joxer realized this must be Cupid's temple. "Hey, if this is Cupid's temple, and he's gone for the week, do I get to stay here?" 

Hera looked at him and shrugged. "I don't see why not. What do you say, Aphrodite?" 

"Bitchin!" The Goddess of Love rose triumphantly from a low cabinet with a scroll in her hand. "Here ya go, Joxie." He took the scroll from her hand. "Now, something's missing." 

"The temple?" 

"No, that's not it. I've got it!" She snapped her fingers and all of a sudden, Joxer felt extremely off-balance. He would have fallen onto his backside if Jace hadn't reached out for his arm to steady him. 

"Whoa, what happened?. 

"Umm, Jox?" 

"Yeah, Jace?" He saw his brother was looking at his back. Jace reached behind him. He felt his brother's hand touch him -- but not on the back. "What in Tartarus" Joxer reached behind his back and his hand ran into a wall of feathers. "You gave me wings?" 

"Of course. Did you actually think we'd allow a wingless God of Love?" She giggled softly. "Now, I'm gonna spend an hour with you, teaching ya the ropes. Y'know, arrows, spells, who to put together and stuff. Oh, and flying too. Hera," she turned to her step-mother, "why don't you go see Strife about finishing up that little business of ours." 

Hera disappeared. The brothers were too much in shock at these newest developments to remember what the Goddesses had been planning. Aphrodite placed an arm over Joxer's shoulders and began leading him off. Jace realized he would soon be left alone. 

"Hey, what about me?" 

"Oh, Jacie, I almost forgot. With Cupie down below and Joxie doin his job, someone needs to take care of Bliss." 

As the word left her lips, a flying whir came into the room. 

"Grandma! Grandma! Grandma!" 

"How's my little munchkin doin?" 

"Where's Daddy?" 

"Daddy's going to be gone a little while. Here, let me introduce you to your Uncles Joxie and Jace. Joxie's goin to be helping your Dad for a while, and Jacie's gonna take care of you." 

"Cool." The winged child flew at Jace and hugged him tightly. "Hiya unkie Jace!" 

"Oh, how cute." The Goddess wiped a non-existent tear from her eye. "Okay, Joxie and I've gotta go. If you need any help, just call." She began leading Joxer away and turned around just before she got to the door. "Oh, and don't let him your sight. He's really sneaky. Bye pumpkin!" 

"Bye Grandma!" 

The God and the demi-God watched as the two left the temple. Bliss grabbed 'Unkie Jace's' hand and pulled him further into the temple. "You wanna see my toys, Unkie Jace?"   
  


* * *   
  


Aphrodite was exhausted. She had just spent the last hour training Joxer in the art of being a Love God and felt like she'd just gone through ten orgies. They had gone over each couple, sometimes having to repeat her instructions when Joxer felt his matchups were better, and she had done her best to help him with his aim. He'd actually been a quick learner. He'd even taken to flying as if he'd been born with those wings. 

She sighed. Too bad the landing part didn't come as naturally. Oh well, at least he could heal himself. 

She leaned back in her chaise longue, trying to tune into various lovers to build up her energy supplies. Despite all the trouble he put her through, she really adored Joxer. And his brothers weren't too bad either, especially Jace 

Her eyes opened with a shot. Perhaps she'd better check up on how he was doing with Bliss. The child was adorable, but he could be quite the handful. She stood up and disappeared, reappearing in Cupid's temple. She looked around, noticing how quiet the temple was. 

"Bliss? Jace? Come on, sweety!" 

She went from room to room, and still no Bliss or Jace. She was almost ready to give up, so she took a moment to think. She leaned onto one of the many statues Cupid liked to keep around his temple. She'd always wondered about his influence on his son -- sure entwined lovers and mortals in bondage were cool, but they weren't really appropriate for a home with a young God. Take the statue she was leaning on for example. It was a man dressed only in tight black leather pants who was tied up to a pillar in the middle of the temple. He was blindfolded and gagged and... 

"Jace?" 

"MMMMMM!!!" 

With a wave of her hand, the ties, blindfold, and gag were gone. "Sweetums! What happened?" 

"That demon spawn of Cupid's is what happened." 

"Awww, but Bliss is harmless!" She saw that the angry expression on his face never left. "Isn't he?" 

"How'd the training with Joxer go?" 

"Oh, he'll be fine." As long as he doesn't have to land, she thought. "Come on. We'd better go find that little munchkin."   
  


* * *   
  


Joxer couldn't help grumbling as he made his way down from Olympus. Even the ecstacy of flying didn't cheer him up. 

Why in Tartarus wearing tight pink pants was part of being the God of Love, he'd never know. Worse yet, Aphrodite had burnt his armour before his very eyes. He'd worked long and hard for that armour. The least she could have done was set it aside for later. 

He managed to catch an air current that would take him to Thebes. He was supposed to find his friend Autolycus and make him fall in love with some woman. Personally, he thought Auto was better off on his own. He just didn't seem like the settling down type. 

As he approached Thebes, he was able to spot Autolycus. He was walking with a blonde woman on his arm -- the same woman he was supposed to be matched with. Well, Joxer thought, at least this won't be too difficult. He took out an arrow out of the quiver and began placing it on the bow. He didn't want to misfire again so he took special care. 

He was almost ready to let the arrow fly when he heard giggling behind him. 

"Bliss! What are you doing here?" 

"Hiya unkie Joxie! Watcha doin?" 

"I'm helping your Daddy. Aren't you supposed to be with Uncle Jace?" 

"What's dat?" The child tried to reach for the bow in Joxer's hand. 

"You can't touch that, Bliss. That's not for little Gods." Bliss pouted and tears began streaming from his eyes. "Oh, all right. You can look at the bow." 

Joxer passed the bow to Bliss. Without warning, Bliss, who flew much better than Joxer, swung around him and stole an arrow from the quiver on Joxer's back, then let it fly towards Thebes. 

Joxer looked down the arrow's path. He felt relieved when he saw that the arrow would hit Autolycus after all. 

Wait a minute. Auto wasn't looking at the blonde. They had just met up with Salmoneus, who was shaking Auto's hand. All of a sudden, the arrow struck Autolycus in the back. The thief pulled Sal to him and kissed him passionately as Sal struggled to get away. 

Joxer turned to glare at Bliss. 

"Oopsie, Unkie Joxie." 

Joxer rolled his eyes. Like I didn't learn my lesson the last time, he thought. He reached out and managed to grab the bow out of Bliss' hands. 

"That's it. You're going back to Olympus. I bet Jace is worried about you." 

"No! I'm not goin back!" 

"Yes you are! Now come on." Joxer reached out for the young God, but Bliss was too quick. 

"No way! Ya gotta catch me first!" 

Joxer growled to himself as the child flew away from him as fast as his wings could go. Joxer knew it was time to put his newfound skills to the test and followed him. They rose up from the mortal world and began weaving through the temples on Olympus. All of a sudden, Bliss decided to fly into one of the temples, and Joxer followed him. When he came out the other side, Joxer realized Bliss had not come out. Turning around, he saw an angry Ares holding a struggling Bliss by the wings. 

"Did you lose something?" 

"Thanks. Just wait till I tell your grandmother!" 

The War God looked at Joxer once, then twice, then a third time. "Joxer?" 

"Umm, hi Ares." 

"What are you doing on Olympus? And since when do you have wings?" 

"Well, I've been here since Hera brought me after finding out Zeus is my father, and I've got wings ever since I accidentally made Cupid mortal and now I'm the new God of Love." 

"Zeus is your father." Ares looked at him sceptically. 

Joxer was about to respond when Aphrodite appeared with Jace at her side. "There you are! You had us worried, Munchkin!" 

"I'm sorry, grandma!" 

"Aww, it's okay. I just can't resist that little munchkin face of yours." 

Jace and Joxer exchanged a look that pretty much told the other what the little brat had put them through. She was just going to let it pass! 

"Umm, Aphrodite, Bliss kinda did something." 

"Oh? What did my little sweetums do?" 

"He shot an arrow at Autolycus and now he's in love with Salmoneus." 

The lot of them turned at the bellowing laugh of the War God. "Man, that must be priceless!" 

"I guess it is kinda funny." Joxer began giggling. Soon, the lot of them were laughing as hard as Ares. 

Aphrodite calmed herself down and turned to Joxer. "We'll fix that up later. Now, you get down there and do your job." 

"All right." With one last glance at the group below, Joxer headed back to the mortal world. 

"Dite?" 

"Yes brother dear?" She was barely listening as she held her grandson in her arms and cooed at him. 

"Dite?!" He sounded a little more forceful this time. 

She sighed. "What now, Arry?" 

"What's this about Joxer being Zeus' son?" 

Jace, who had been watching everything from the side, threw up his hands in exasperation. "What is it about you people?" His accent was stronger than it had ever been. "Nobody notices Jace. How could you not notice such a beautiful creature as I?" 

"Oh, Jacie, I'm sorry!" Dite wrapped one arm around his shoulders while still holding Bliss. "He didn't hurt you too much, now did he?" 

"No, and if it hadn't been that little harpy I wouldn't have minded that much but that isn't the point!" 

"Then what is your point, sweetcheeks?" 

"Hera takes me all the way to Olympus and I am relegated to being a babysitter. Is that all you see me as?" 

"No, of course not. You know, I bet you and Apollo would have a lot in common. Why don't you go with Ares here to meet you brother?" 

"No!" the War God insisted. "You know how much I hate him, Dite!" 

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "All right, all right. I'll take Jace to meet Apollo. Here," she passed the winged toddler to Ares. "You take care of Bliss until I get back." 

Ares looked on helplessly as Aphrodite led the demi-God to Apollo's temple. The little bundle of something in his arms wiggled. 

"Wanna play, Gwampa?" He sneered at the child. "I love you, Gwampa!" 

Ares looked left and right, making sure there were no other Gods in sight, then he bent his head next to the godling's ear. "I love you too, brat."   
  


* * *   
  


Joxer looked at the next set of names on the scroll and sighed. It was just his luck. He finally gets to be a God, and not just any God, but the God of Love, and one of his first jobs was to make the woman he loved fall in love with someone else. 

He reluctantly began looking for his best friends. When he finally found them, he let out a sigh of relief. They were alone. He wasn't here, so Joxer couldn't do the job. 

Just as he was about to turn around and head for the next job, a messenger came out of the forest and started speaking with the women. They immediately went back in the direction the came from to give their help. Joxer followed catching an air current, desperately hoping they weren't going where he thought they were. 

They were going where he thought they were. Shortly, they had met up yet again with Hercules and Iolaus. Damned infallible Gods, Joxer thought. He took several steadying breaths before he could gather the courage to take an arrow out of his quiver and cock in on the bow. He carefully steadied his hands and aimed for the couple below. He shot the first arrow and hit Gabrielle. Sighing, he took out another arrow and readied it for his target. 

"Hey, you Joxer?" 

The arrow whizzed off from the bowstring on a strange path. Joxer watched as it swerved in and out of trees, finally coming to rest in a stong chest. 

"Not again." Joxer's face fell into his hands for the second time in one day. Instead of hitting it's designated target, Iolaus, the arrow had hit Hercules. The strong hero was now gathering the petite blonde into his arms and kissing her senseless. 

"Hey, cute couple." 

Joxer turned and glared at the man who had distracted him. He was floating next to him on the same current of air, yet he had no wings. Actually, that was wrong. He had no wings on his back. 

"Hermes, I presume?" 

"In person. You're Joxer, right?" Joxer nodded. "I've got a message for you." 

Joxer took the scroll Hermes handed to him and unrolled it. "Taking Jace to Apollo. Bliss with Ares. See ya later studmuffin. -- Aphrodite." 

"You interrupted my shot for THIS?!" 

"It's my job. Later." 

Joxer sighed and reluctantly looked back to his friends. How on earth was he going to explain this to Aphrodite?   
  


* * *   
  


Hera walked into the main room of the temple she shared with Zeus and stopped in her tracks. There he was, bent over a scrying mirror and obviously in pain. 

"Zeus, dear, what's wrong?" She helped him into a sitting position and realized he wasn't in pain -- he was laughing. "What's so funny now?" 

He kept laughing, pointing at the scrying mirror. All she could see was Joxer flying around. "What? I don't see anything funny." 

After several tries, the King of the Gods finally caught his breath long enough to speak three words. "Hercules and Gabrielle." 

Once she realized what he meant, Hera began laughing just as hard. The King and Queen leant against each other for support as they ran the course of their laughter. 

"So, husband, what do you think of your boys now?" 

"Well, we're definitely not leaving Jace with Bliss again." He laughed a little more. "And I guess Joxer's ok. At least he's dedicated to his work. If only he could shoot straight." 

They burst into another wave of laughter. 

"Dear, just wait until you see him land."   
  


* * *   
  


Xena looked on in shock as her best friend embraced her former lover. What in Tartarus was going on here? To make matters worse, Iolaus was looking on with such a look of jealousy that he seemed almost ready to challenge the demi-God. 

Her head fell back as she rolled her eyes, and she noticed a speck of white in the sky. Cupid! No wonder this passion had sprung up so suddenly. 

"Cupid! I know you're there. Show some guts and get down here. Now!" The figure in the sky seemed to hesitate a few moments, then slowly flew down to their position. 

Xena turned her attention back to the couple before her. She laid a hand on Iolaus' shoulder in an effort to calm him down. There she stood, waiting patiently for Cupid to arrive, when a loud crash behind her made all four of them jump. The four heroes took out their weapons and stood at ready for any trouble. 

They stared at a rustling in the brush. They knew whoever had made the racket must be there -- shrubs certainly didn't mumble or curse. After a few seconds, a couple of white feathers floated down from the bushes and Xena immediately put her guard down. While she had no great love for the Gods, she knew Cupid was relatively harmless. 

"I should have just floated above the ground, but noooo. I had to land." Four jaws dropped simultaneously as a winged, pink-clad Joxer stepped out of the brush, picking leaves and twigs out of his gossamer wings. "What? Oh yeah, the wings." 

Xena was the first to remember how to speak. "Joxer?" 

"Hi Xena! You guys haven't missed me too much, now have you?" 

"You've got wings." 

"Yeah, I know. Unfortunately, it's a requirement of being the God of Love. Same with the pink pants." 

"God of Love?" Xena had been through a lot in her time, but this was almost too much. 

"Umm, yeah. It's kind of a long story, so I think I'll save it for another time. Right now, there's a little problem I've got to fix." 

"Problem?" All of a sudden, Xena remembered the scene she'd been observing before Joxer's arrival. "You mean them, right?" Joxer nodded. "All right. Fix it." 

"Umm, well, that's kind of the problem. I don't know how." 

"You don't know how?" 

Joxer was about to respond but found the words wouldn't come out -- it was hard to speak with someone's hand wrapped around your neck. As his face turned a lovely shade of blue, that ironically matched perfectly with his white wings, he motioned to Xena to let him go, rasping her name. Eventually, Xena grew tired of holding him up like that and let him fall to the ground. 

Joxer rubbed his neck, trying to get some feeling back in his head. "Thanks." 

"Now, Joxer, what were you saying?" Xena realized he was no longer listening to her. She would have been angry had it not been for the miserable look in his eyes. She followed his gaze and saw that Hercules and Gabrielle were back to their previous activities. 

Xena approached Joxer and turned him around so that neither of them was facing the couple and laid a hand on his arm. "Now, what happened, Joxer?" 

He looked up and saw her sympathetic eyes and told her everything from Jett attacking Cupid to Hermes sneaking up on him, distracting him from his shot. 

"Why don't you just call Aphrodite?" 

"No! I've messed up enough today. I have to prove that I'm as good as the rest of the Gods." 

Xena sighed and placed an arm over his shoulders. "Joxer, I know you're going to be a great God. I just don't think you were meant to be the God of Love." 

"But who's going to do it while Cupid's gone?" 

"I don't know. Why don't we let Aphrodite decide." 

Joxer nodded and within moments the Goddess of Love appeared at his side. She looked over at the still kissing Hercules and Gabrielle and shook her head. "Oh, Joxie. Not again." 

"I'm sorry, Aphrodite." 

The Goddess looked at the dejected look on his face and gave him one of her warmest smiles. "That's okay, studmuffin. I can fix it." With a wave of her hand and a smattering of sparkles, Hercules and Gabrielle broke their kiss and almost hurt themselves trying to get out of each others' arms. In her rush, Gabrielle tripped over a root sticking out of the ground and Iolaus immediately rushed over to help her up. 

"Now that's who's meant to be," Dite whispered in Joxer's ear as they saw the looks the two blonds exchanged. 

Joxer sighed. "I'm sorry if I let you down. Who will you get to take Cupid's place now?" 

Before the Goddess could answer, a group of laughing men came down the road towards them. They were laughing so hard that they struggled to walk straight. 

"...and then I go to the blacksmith and ask, 'hey, what's with Lord Janus', and he says, 'don't ask.'" 

"Oh, man! I can't believe he just went running through the town naked like that!" 

"I tell you, he did. He kept yelling something about his horse being in love with him or something..." 

The voices faded as the group passed the heroes and Gods. Joxer turned on Aphrodite. "You didn't!" 

"Hey, Hera, Cupe, Strife and I agreed he had it coming. And it was much better than what Strife wanted to do." 

"How could you do that?!" 

Dite looked around at the mortals and demi-Gods watching the scene. "Okay, studmuffin. Why don't we take this little discussion elsewhere. See you later, guys." With a wave of her hand, she and Joxer appeared in her temple on Olympus. She looked at Joxer; he still looked angry. 

"I thought I asked you not to?" 

"You asked, but none of said we wouldn't. I'm sorry it bugs you, but he needed to learn a lesson or two." She didn't like it when he crossed his arms and looked down at his feet, so she walked over, pressed her hands against his cheeks and forced him to meet her eyes. "We care about you, you little dufus. Do you think we do things like this just on the spur of the moment." He raised an eyebrow. "Okay, sometimes we do, but not this time." 

"I know. It's just that... he's family." 

"Yeah, but now we're your family." She reached up and eveloped him in a warm hug. 

"So, who's going to do Cupid's job?" he asked into her blonde curls. 

"Oh, the world can do without for a week. I'm still around, after all." 

"And Bliss..." 

"Is with his grandpa Ares." 

"And Jace..." 

"He's with Apollo. They really took a shine to each other." She giggled at her own pun. 

"And Jett and Cupid..." 

"Are keeping each other company." 

Joxer pulled out of the hug. "Well, I guess you've got a lot of work to do." 

She smiled at him very sweetly. "Actually, I'm on a break right now." 

"I didn't know Gods took breaks." 

"Hey, we do whatever we want when we want. Speaking of which..." She reached up and pulled him down into a kiss. Joxer could feel his legs turning to jelly as he felt the soft Love Goddess press up against him. He broke away to catch his breath. 

"Wh-what was that for?" 

"I've wanted to do that for a long time, Studmuffin." 

"But what about H-Hephaestus?" 

"I might be tempted to share you with him later, but for now, you're mine." Joxer could do nothing but stand there wide-eyed. "Oh, Hephie was sooo right. You do look so cute when you're flustered like that." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him again. 

Before he knew what was happening, Joxer felt something bump against his legs and he fell back onto the softest bed he'd ever lain on. Aphrodite looked him in the eyes when she next let him up for air. "So, how about it, Studmuffin?" 

"I think I must have died. I'm in Elysia." 

"Pretty close, babe. Welcome to Olympus." 

"I think I'm going to like it here," Joxer said before he lost himself once again in Aphrodite's kisses. 


End file.
